In Praise Of Women
by Velvel "Wally" Spiegler

As young men, coming of age, in the early fifties, conversation often emerged within my age group concerning whose role in life was harder- men or women. The guys said the girls have it better.  After all the girls didn't have to serve in the Army (there was a military draft in those days); they didn't have to work to support a family and they didn't have to face the competitive career world, if they didn't want to. Feeling confident in our conclusions, we boastfully presented our side to the girls. "No way" they shrieked, "the guys have it much easier. We sit home until we're called for a date; we need cosmetics and high heels to entice men and we're rejected from choice schools and jobs just because we're women.

Jewish tradition too has mixed feelings when it comes to the genders. On one hand women are celebrated on Friday evening with the hymn Lecha Dodi, sung in the synagogue; the kindling of the Shabbat candles and the recitation of Aishes Chayil, A Women of Valor from the book of Proverbs. Friday night belongs to women. On the other hand, ask any Jewish feminist and she'll tell you about the degrading insertion for women in Birchat HaShachar, the morning blessings. She'll tell you about the Water of Bitterness, a trial in Parshat Naso to determine whether a suspected wife is guilty of adultery; as if there are not men who cheat.  She'll go on to describe all the activities that are forbidden and how women's affairs were relegated to household duties, how a women's property is administered by her husband. Women are impure during their menstrual cycle for seven days and in the event of a discharge of semen, men are impure until evening (Lev.15:16-19). It's no wonder so may women get turned off to traditional Judaism yet Jewish tradition contains the authentic seeds of Jewish spirituality.

Do we really praise women or do we treat them as secondary citizens? Could this behavior have to do with some innate fear or jealousy, mistrust or envy that  causes men to enact laws against women?  Perhaps it's a fear that men perceive as the mysterious aspects of women, something men can't possibly understand, something we might call the feminine mystique: the receptive, nurturing, intuitive and emotionally sensitive side of women.

Changes in some synagogues have been made thanks to the demands of the Jewish feminist movement. Many women now have a more equal share in synagogue participation. Is that enough? Will that bridge the gap between the sexes or is it just sugarcoating? The issue goes deeper than just in the synagogue. It's something that is as old as civilization itself.   Men are biologically different, they know they have the physical advantage.  Their aggressiveness requires a need to be in control; they have always been the warriors and the hunters.

It's time that men take male initiative once more, recognize the differences between the sexes and become more responsible for the divergence that we ourselves created. It's up to Jewish men to take control; this time to be a beacon to all the world that shines light on the split between men and women. We need to wipe out the possibilities that shake the foundations of the family: divorce, abandonment, domestic abuse. We can accomplish this by learning to reverse macho behavior and learning to be more sensitive. Jewish practice in itself won't do the job; it will take a deep look inside ourselves to see who we really are. We need to learn to listen more carefully and learn to become more vulnerable: to take a chance that others will understand and appreciate our innermost thoughts and feelings. That is how we show respect and praise for women.

Jewish tradition, particularly orthodoxy, recognizes the all-important place a women occupies in the life of the family; in no way is she looked upon as being inferior to men. Not all Jewish women would agree with that position. 'In praise of women' proposes an equalization of the differences, at home, in the workplace and in every sphere of life.