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A Recipe for Giving Thanks
by Velvel "Wally" Spiegler

For the past several years, our family has been taking Thanksgiving more seriously then ever before. We think Thanksgiving is more than just the Macy's parade, a football game and digging in to a lavish meal. This traditionally American holiday can serve Jews as a focal point in bringing our awareness back to understanding gratitude.  

At our Thanksgiving table, we usually seat our three children, our children-in-law, our grandchildren and invited guests to the extent that our dinner table will accommodate. As grandchildren were being born to our family, we've been finding reason to be more thankful each year so we decided to stress the gratitude part and down play the turkey part. As Jews celebrating a holiday even if it's not specifically a Jewish one we find a need to express some of our thoughts and feelings in song, acknowledging the presence of G-d in our lives, a sort of she'hechianu.  We might join in with Hinei Ma Tov, The Pilgrim Hymn (We gather together to ask the Lord's blessing...) and an Adon Olam set to the same melody.

Discussion arises around the table with particular teaser questions like "what does it mean to be thankful?" or "what does this holiday mean to us?" This invariably leads to a recognition of Who supplies our every need, what it takes to be thankful, and in what ways do Jews express their thankfulness. From the initial berachot (blessings), we realize that it is G-d Himself who provides for everything, and this soon sets the stage for the more difficult concern of what gratitude is all about.

The English root of the word grateful is grace which according to my electronic dictionary is defined as "Divine love and protection bestowed freely upon mankind".  Grace is an inherent condition of our being, and as we move away from grace we move into the demand state. Much of the time we're ungrateful. "If only I had more money, a better job, better relationships, more leisure time, etc., etc". is the lament of the demand state; always dissatisfied with what we have. Always waiting, always wanting. Grace implies being satisfied with your circumstances. The Talmud asks the question "who is wealthy" and answers, "he who is satisfied with what he has". That's the state of grace and with that life becomes a perpetual celebration, not a once a year event.

Grace doesn't come about as a result of positive thinking.  It comes by expressing thankfulness everyday, as Jews are known to do.  Through prayer we come to realize that G-d provides for all our needs. We're obliged to say thank you after meals with the traditional Birchat HaMazon, a lengthy prayer that consists of four blessings: to thank G-d for the nourishment, for the land that provides the nourishment, for Israel, and for G-d's goodness. We say thank you in the Amidah in each one of the three daily prayer services with the special prayer of Modim Anachnu Lach, We thankfully acknowledge You, Lord our God.  We also say thank you as we arise each morning with the morning prayer Modeh Ani which thanks G-d for restoring life that day, and for all of the abundance we've received. Here is the short prayer, transliterated, to be recited upon awakening which can serve as a daily practice to bring gratitude into our lives: Modeh ani lefanecha, Melech chai v'kayam, she'hechehzarta bi nishmati b'hemlah, raba emunatecha. I gratefully thank You,  living and eternal King, for you have returned my soul to me, abundant is Your faithfulness!