Click
the logo to return to Archives
Reflections
After Passover
by Velvel "Wally" Spiegler
We never
got to the seder a few years ago. My wife came down with what we first
thought
was a flu, but a few days later diagnosed as pneumonia. This was just a
few days before Pesach so we spent the week eating sick foods and
matzot, by ourselves. That, of course, didn't stop me from preparing
for the seder because whether we were there or not, we still needed to
regard ourselves as if we had personally gone forth from Egypt. Perhaps
it was because I knew we wouldn't participate those nights that I
became all the more conscientious about delving into the Haggadah and
its Talmudic references. What emerged for me were more questions: can
we really ever come out of bondage? It struck me-to my amazement-that
maybe we can't and maybe it's OK not to be redeemed, at least not all
at once. And that's why we tell the story over and over again, year
after year so that we might eventually become liberated.
As I got past the four questions at the seder in my mind, I got to the
tale of Rabbi Eliezer, Rabbi Joshua, Rabbi Elazar ben Azariah, Rabbi
Akiva and Rabbi Tarphon who spoke all night about the Exodus from Egypt
until a disciple showed up and reminded them that it's time to say the
morning prayers. I guess I felt a little like Rabbi Elazar ben
Azariah who was amazed that he finally understood Ben Zoma's
explanation of why the Exodus story needs to be recalled at night as
well as by day. I too realized it's not only at the seder table, but
it's twice a day, every day and on Shabbat too that we are to recall
the Exodus from Egypt. The footnote in my Artscroll siddur to the
phrase "I am the Lord your G-d, who brought you out of the land of
Egypt to be your G-d" specifically requests that we intensely
concentrate on these words, as we conclude the Sh'ma. This work
is not just for Pesach it's continual and that's why we can't be
redeemed at the seder table.
Then more questions arose. What actually is bondage? Can we be enslaved
to beliefs, to possessions, to thoughts, to relationships?
Boy, was my mind on fire. Then another insight! Aha, the
secret of Pesach is in the Afikomen which represents the paschal
sacrifice. That's why the father tells the wise son the laws of Pesach
and intentionally explains the Afikomen. How then would you help
yourself or someone to come out of bondage? I then came up with these
notions. First recognize we're not free and then identify what part of
us needs to be redeemed. We need to also become responsible for what's
not working in our lives which means that we need to stop blaming
others or outside events for our predicament.
Next
we need to sacrifice our enslavement; that's where the Afikomen or
paschal sacrifice comes in. To sacrifice means to give something
up. Could this be the deeper meaning of tsedakah (righteous
giving); I wondered? If I could learn the feeling of giving up prized
possessions-and in biblical days livestock was certainly a valued
commodity-then I could learn to give up core beliefs that keeps me in
bondage.
Finally
I remembered the line from the Haggadah "and the Lord brought us out of
Egypt, not through an angel, not through a seraph, and not through a
messenger, but the Holy One blessed be He, alone and in His
glory." Is the Haggadah really saying that what we need to do
after the sacrifice is allow G-d to do the work of taking us out of
bondage? So every day of the year that I remember the Exodus, remember
my own enslavement and do my part then slowly as each seder rolls by, I
will eventually be redeemed. It's a kind of pact we have with the Holy
One; we do our part and He does His. What a seder that was even if we
couldn't be there.